1 LOVE OF A LIFETIME
by shaysambo
Summary: This is my very first Chicago PD fanfic. I hope you guys like it. How will Jay, the kids and Intelligence handle Erin's death? How will Dylan go on without her? Is Jay able to raise two teenagers and a six year old? Can he handle the pressure with all the raging hormones and attitudes? Who's marriage will end? Will Jay ever find love again? Was Erin's death just a hoax?
1. chapter 1

*Dylan's pov *

[I come out of the bathroom Dr.Warren is leaving as I walk into the waiting room everyone has their heads hanging down and their hands on their knees. I notice Dad has tears in his eyes like he's holding back from breaking down ; I ask him]

"Hey Dad. Is Mom okay?"

"Uh Dyl there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it Dad?"

[I stand up we go into the hallway I say]

"I don't know how to say this but your mom didn't make it."

"What? No. We were supposed to go to California. You two were getting remarried."

"Dylan ; she gone."

"No."[I run into Mom's room she's laying on the bed with tubes sticking out of her I try to wake her up I say:{Mom wake up please. I need you. Mom wake up. Mom! Don't go. You're my best friend.} I break down sobbing onto her lap. The doctors come in they try to make me leave ; uncle Will carries me out into the waiting room. I'm screaming for Mom he sets me down. I run back to her room I watch as they unhook Mom's oxygen heart monitor. I'm crying Dad comes next to me he says]

"Dyl it's time for us to go."

"No. I'm not going anywhere Dad."

"Dylan let's go."

"No. I'm not going. No."[Dad tries to pull me away. I'm screaming and crying. I'm hitting his chest he tries to calm me down I yell]"My mother just died don't tell me to calm down."[I grab my bag and storm out. I go to Diego's he answers. I have makeup running down my face. I whisper]" My mo[Diego wraps his arms around me and says]

"You don't have to say it. Does your dad know you're here?"

"No. I just need a friend right now."

"You've got one. Come on let's sit down."[We sit in the couch Dylan spends the next hour crying into my shirt Mom comes home she says]

"Diego! Amelia! Alejandro! Come down here. It's important."[They all come in the kitchen I say]"Have any of you seen Dylan Halstead? Don't lie to me. Her dad is worried."

"She's in the living room. She needs a friend."

"Dylan come in here please."[she comes in her eyes are puffy and red from crying ; she has mascara running down her face I ask]"Does your dad know you're here?"

"No. Did you hear?"

"Yea. I'm so sorry. I lost my mother when I was sixteen. You don't have to go home but you do have to call your dad and tell him you're okay. He's really worried about you."

"Ok."[I go on the porch and call Dad he answers]

"Dylan are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm okay and I'm at Diego's."

"I'm coming to get you now."

"Dad I just need time to process everything. Is it okay if I stay here?"

"Let me talk to Rosa."

"Ok [I go in the house and say] "My dad wants to talk to you Mrs. Martinez."

"Thanks Dylan."[They go into the living room I say]"What's up Halstead?"

"What's your read on Dylan?"

"She's hurting. She Erin were close. It's like not being able to breathe. How is Alexis taking it?"

"She has questions. I just try to answer them the best way I know how to. Lexi has been in her room since we left the hospital ; she shut me out."

"Well if it's okay with you, Dylan can spend the night here."

"Yea that's fine. How far is Amelia's room from Diego's?"

"Diego has transformed the basement into his room. Amelia's room is on the second floor."

"Good. Thanks Martinez."

"Anytime Halstead."[I hang up I start to make dinner Dylan comes in she says]

"Mrs. Martinez can I talk to you?"

"Sure sweetie. What's up?"

"How did you handle your mom's death?"

"I was devastated. We were talking about going to Paris for my graduation when a truck missed the stop sign, ran the red light hit us head on."

*Dylan's pov*

[I wake up at 5:30am. I stay in bed for two hours. Dad knocks on my door he opens it says]

"Time to get up."

"I'm already awake. I just don't think I can get out of bed. She was my best friend Dad."

"Yea. Mine too. We have to move on though."

"Move on past my mothers death. Why the hell haven't I thought about that?"

"Watch your mouth Dylan."

"When was the last time you kissed Mom?"

"Just before she had surgery. The last thing she said was : {Take Dylan to California if I don't make it. Take the girls to Cabo. They were really looking forward to it. I love you so much Jay Andrew Halstead. I'm so lucky to have you in my life.} Dylan your mom loved you guys more than life. She would die before she let someone hurt you guys."

"Lewis raped me repeatedly. She let him."

"No she didn't. When you went missing she was crying her eyes out because she thought it was her fault. That she should've been there. I was too. I'm supposed to protect my family. She went off when we found Lewis raping you because she hated for someone to hurt you."

"I know. We were planning the trip to California. Why did she have to die?"

"I'm not sure baby girl. I know that we will be okay in time. Thanks Dylan."

"For what?"

"Everything."

[Dad leaves I get up I see a picture of me Mom at my last basketball game we were undefeated all season. We won the state championship. I feel hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I take a long shower when I come out I see : SHMILY written on the mirror that mom wrote. I try wiping it away but it reappears over and over again I break down crying. I'm sitting on my bathroom floor sobbing in my robe when Aunt Nadia knocks on the door she says]

"Dylan can I come in?"

"It's open."[she comes in she sits in front of me says]

"Hey kiddo. How are you holding up?"

"How am I holding up? My mother is dead. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."


	2. Hope In Sorrow

*Jay's pov*

[I have a tux on. Sean comes in he asks]

"How are you doing man?"

"I can barely get out of bed in the morning. My best friend is gone. She wasn't perfect but she was perfect for me."[We go to the funeral Chaplin Orlovsky gives his sermon Dylan goes up she says]

"We are not here to mourn but to celebrate the life of Erin Aylssabeth Halstead my mother. She was vibrant, strong, loving, and compassionate. I had the privilege of being her daughter for almost sixteen years. She would light up the room when she walked in ; she was an amazing cop. I remember I went on a ride along with her and my father one day. She looked at me and said :

{No matter what you see today never lose trust in two things in love in your partner. Stay low stay strong.} My mother was the bravest woman I know ; she had breast cancer but she didn't let it define her. My little sister Adrianna was killed last year it broke my mother ; she cried a lot barely got out of bed. I was taking care of myself, my sister Alexis and my mother all while going to school. One day I dragged mom out of bed put her in the shower and turned it on. She was mad like fire ; I thought I was gonna get in serious trouble but I didn't. My mom slowly started doing more ; I loved my mother. She was one of my best friends ; it's funny because my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up I didn't have an answer. I could've answered : an engineer or a physician but that's not what I want to be. I want to make my mom proud. I'm gonna be brave ; I'm gonna take a stand against bullying. I'm gonna be a doctor cause that's what I know would make my mom proud. Going off the beaten path finding a new song to sing. My family is full of cops ; my dad, my mom, my aunts and uncles. Everyone at the 21st district is my family ; when I hear those sirens it's a fighter waiting on the other side of the ambo and I'm gonna give them a fighting chance. Like my mom wanted. My mother always said I was a blessing in disguise. Thank you all for coming out. I love you so much mommy. You will always be my hero."[I step down I sit between Dad and Lexi. Dad puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my head. Alexis crawls into my lap I hold her close she looks up at me and wipes my tears I laugh slightly. We go to the gravesite the pastor says a prayer. Everyone says their final goodbyes. Nadia, Dad and I are the last ones there. Nadia asks]

"Do you want me your Dad to wait for you?"

"No. Go ahead to the house. I'll be here for a while."

"Okay. Looks like Diego stuck around. He's a good friend."

"Yea. He is."[Dad kisses my head aunt Nadia rubs my arm then kisses my cheek they leave. I ask Chaplin Orlovsky]"Could you open the casket please?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please? I just want to hold her hand one last time."

"Ok."

[He opens the casket mom has on her favorite red dress I have a flashback:

{Dad is waiting for Mom at the bottom of the stairs she comes downstairs Dad says: Wow Erin you look great.

Thanks Jay. You look nice. This dress reminds me of our honeymoon in Cabo.

That was the first time we had sex on the beach.

I still have the scar from that nail.

The Chaplin says]

"Dylan!"

"I'm sorry. What?"

"They have to bury your mother now."

"Five more minutes please?"

"Okay. I'm gonna go now."

"The sermon was great Chaplin."

"Have a blessed day Dylan."

[Chaplin Orlovsky leaves I say to mom]

"I watched you fight through cancer. You were doing so good until you relapsed and I mean no one bothered to tell me that you were dying! Nobody! You wanted to see me graduate high school and college, see tears rolling down my father's cheeks on my wedding day, you wanted to hold my babies in your arms, hear them say their first words and see them take their first step. You wanted a fighting chance ; you promised me you would get better. You never got a chance to see me sing in front of people."[the graveyard worker lowers her body into the ground I breakdown crying and screaming. I yell]"No mommy don't go please. I need you. Mom! No! Don't leave me mommy! You promised me you'd teach me how to drive and we'd go to California. Mom! Mommy please don't make me live without you! I can't do it! You were my best friend.[I try to hold onto mom one last time Diego pulls me away I fight him hitting his chest then fall into his arms. We fall onto the ground. Diego holds me not saying a word we sit in silence except for my sobbing for an hour it's 5:00pm when I finally say]"Bye mommy. I love you. You will always be my guardian angel. Don't worry I'll take care of Dad, Lexi, Alexis. I promise. Just know I'll see you in the stands at every single game if I play again. You were my biggest fan."

*Dylan's pov*

[ We go to my house Diego holds me while I cry for two hours 8:00pm Diego whispers]

"It's getting late. Do you want me to go?"

"No. Can you sing to me?"

"Any song in particular?"

"No."[Diego sings to me softly he sings as I slowly fall asleep in his arms Diego says]

"Dyl?"[ I slip my arm from under her head. I gently lay her on her bed tuck the cover up around her neck I kiss her head and turn the light off. I quietly shut the door. Mr.Halstead is standing in front of me I jump back he takes two steps closer and says]

"What were you doing in my daughters bedroom?"

"Uh she asked me to sing to her then she fell asleep sir."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"Yes sir."

"You can take her out to dinner but if you ever hurt my little girl I'm coming for you with Kevin, Ruzek, Voight. Got it?"

"Yes sir."[ Mr. Halstead and I talk for four hours 12:00am I go home the lights are off ; I drop my keys on the counter a light comes on in the living room Dad says]

"Diego is that you?"

"Yea it's me Dad."

"Come in here."[he comes into the living room Rosa says]

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yea."

"Do you have anything to say for yourself? Or how about an explanation."

"I was with Dylan."

"So you don't have a phone? To call your mother and tell her where you are?"

"Yes sir I do."

"So why the hell didn't you?"

"My phone died. I couldn't use Dylan's because hers was dead too and it was charging."

"Jay has a phone and so does Lexi. Try again."

"I'm sorry okay? I should've called."

"You're past curfew too. Phone and keys now."

"But mom."

"I don't want to hear it Diego. You know the rules."

"This is fucking ridiculous."

"Watch your mouth young man. If you want to have an attitude you can go to your room."

"I was comforting my friend who just buried her mother."

*Dylan's pov*

[ the next morning I wake up at 6:30. I take down all of the pictures of mom in the house ; I go on a walk I go to Mom's gravesite the dirt is still fresh. I talk to Mom for three hours. 9:30am I walk to aunt Nadia's ; there's a black car behind Sean's in her driveway. I use my key I say]

"Sean are you here?"

"Yea. I'll be right out Dyl."

"Ok."

[I pull my shirt on Nadia is sitting on the tub crying I go over to her and ask]

"What's wrong baby?"

" I'm pregnant Sean."

"Well that's good right?"

"Yea."

"So why are you crying?"

"I was just thinking how I can't wait to tell Erin. She was the first person I told about our first baby. She was so excited to become an aunt again. I just miss her. She taught me how to drive, how to cook. She was my big sister. She comforted me when I lost the baby. She sat with me while I cried for three hours. I can't even tell you how much that meant to me just her holding me not saying anything. I never knew that it would be the last time she told me how much she loved me. I really miss my sister and there's nothing I can do to bring her back."

Shadows fill an empty heart

As love is fading,

From all the things that we are

But are not saying.

Can we see beyond the stars

And make it to the dawn?

What about now?

What about today?

What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love never went away?

What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

Baby, before it's too late,

What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes

To start a new day.

This broken heart can still survive

With a touch of your grace.

Shadows fade into the light.

I am by your side,

Where love will find you.


	3. Chapter 3: Memories All Around Us

A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don't think I can look at this the same

But all the miles that separate

Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you, baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you, baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you, baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it's only you and me, yeah.

The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh, yeah, yeah

I'm here without you, baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you, baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you, baby

*Jay's pov*

[I'm laying on my bed. I hold Erin's pillow to my nose ; I breathe in her perfume ; I start daydreaming to the night I proposed :{Erin has on a black **and** gold dress we're holding hands as we walk down the pier Erin stops **and** **says:}**

"Okay what's going on Jay? I saw you with Gabby this morning. You two had lunch and dinner last week. If there is something going on then please just tell me now because I can't be with someone who is unfaithful I just can't."

"Like what?"

"You tell me. You hugged Gabby it looked like you two kissed. Are you seeing her?"

"Yes. But not the way you think."[she starts babbling I kiss her she steps back smiles then grabs me by my collar and kisses me I smile I wrap Erin up in my coat as we kiss slowly and passionately I force myself to pull away and say]"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love it when the sun hits your eyes cause it brings out the golden flecks in your blue eyes. I can't even begin to describe how much I love you. I don't want to spend another day waking up without you next to me. Those lips are the lips I want to kiss for the rest of my life ; so Erin Aylssabeth Lindsay [i get down on one knee say] "Make me the happiest man in the world and give me the honor of being your husband. Will you marry me?"

"Where's the ring? You proposed without a ring?"[Gabby walks over she hands Jay a small box kisses my cheek and whispers]

"He's got great taste. There's nothing going on between us ; he wanted my opinion on the ring. I told him you're gonna love it."

"Thank you Gabby."[she leaves I whistle everyone from District 21 comes out holding signs that read: marry me Erin Lindsay?Voight comes over to us he says]

"Jay. Erin is like my own daughter and I'm glad she found a guy who knows how much family means to her. Treat her right or it's not gonna be good for you."

"Erin will you marry me?"

"Yes! Absolutely! A thousand times! Yes!"[Jay opens the ring box I look at it faint. Luckily Voight catches me before I fall. He stands me back up Jay slides the ring on my finger. I start crying Jay says]

"What's wrong babe?"

"Nothing. I just wish my parents were here to see this."

"They are. They go everywhere with you. You're never alone."

"How did I get so lucky?"

I stop daydreaming when someone knocks on the door I'm crying into Erin's pillow I ask:}

"Who is it?"

"Lexi. Can I come in?"

"Yea."[she opens the door sits beside me says]

"Erin was my mother. Amanda didn't love me."

"Lexi don't say that. Amanda loves you very much."

"No she doesn't. If she did then she wouldn't have just left like that ; that woman is not never will be my mother."[Dad I start arguing dad says]

"Alexandra Nicole I love you your mother loves you. Even if she left. Your are her world."

"Erin was your world. Look what happened to her. She's dead now. What kind of world is that? You gave your life to her she's gone! She's never coming back! What did giving her your life get you? You loved her with everything in you now you will never get to grow old with her." [Dad has a pained look on his face he looks down at his wedding ring I say]"Dad I didn't [he cuts me off says]

"Don't just don't." [Lexi shuts the door when she leaves. I look on Erin's dresser I see our wedding picture ; I take it down and put it in a box in my closet ; I look in Erin's closet her clothes are still scattered on the floor from the morning of the accident ; I step in and close the door. I break down sobbing into one of her shirts. It still has that angel scent in it ; she always wore angel because she knew I loved it. My phone rings its Hank I answer]"Hello?"

"Hey Jay. I just wanted to see how you and the kids are."

"It's like the light has gone out of my life. I don't know what to do ; I have never been one to show emotion except when it came to my family. I fought hard for my family ; Dylan hasn't talked to anyone since the funeral. Erin was my first love and I loved her with all I had ; hell she was my favorite person in the world. Alexis doesn't really know what happened ; I explained it the best I could."

"Well you know that everyone here at the 21st is here for you whatever you need."

"Could you take Lexi and Alexis for a week or two?"

"What about Dylan?"

"She'll probably be with Diego most of the time."

"Yea. Sure ; I'll come pick them up at seven."

"Thanks Voight."[he hangs up I go downstairs. Lexi and Alexis are watching tv Dylan is sitting in the dark at the table I notice the picture of the five of us is gone. So are all the other pictures I ask]"Where are the pictures that were on the walls?"[Dylan texts me] "I took them down ; I can't bear to look at them. It hurts too much. I asked you about it and you said it was fine."[I read it and say]"Oh that's right. Alexis and Lexi go pack enough clothes for two weeks . You're going to Hank's then Jordan's."

"What about Dylan?"

"Don't worry about her ; just please do what I told you to."

"Yes sir ; come on Alexis."

[7:00 Grandpa comes over I'm sitting in the dark in my room ; just staring at the ceiling. Dad calls me downstairs I go downstairs grandpa says]

"Hey Dyl ; how are you holding up?"[she doesn't say anything Lexi and Alexis come downstairs they both have two bags. Dylan hugs them both Lexi says]

"I'll take care of her. Don't worry."[Dylan nods she kisses Alexis'shead she hugs Hank and goes outside. Dad says]

"Be good you two."

"We will. Bye dad."

[I'm outside on the swing sitting still not swinging Grandma Olivia comes over she says]

"Hey Dylan. Mind if I sit with you?"[she shrugs I sit next to her and say]"I know how it feels to lose your mother ; but you're the oldest. Your sisters look up to you for support and love. You are just shutting people out who love you and that's not healthy Dylan because pretty soon that volcano will erupt and it will destroy you and everyone you care about. You can listen if you want but know that I'm here."

[I walk away from Olivia. I walk to the flower shop ; I get moms favorite flowers lilies. I go to her gravestone I say:{ hey mom , I can't talk to anyone else but you. I'm sixteen; I haven't played any sport in two months. I don't think I can see myself playing any sport ever again; Dad is worried about me I can see it on his face when he bothers to look at me. I think I remind him of you ; I really miss you mom. We were supposed to go to California together to beat your cancer ; I mean I thought if you were gonna die it would be from cancer or the job.I can't keep up this charade acting like I'm okay. Sean offered to teaching me how to drive ; I've been coming here to talk to you every other day since the funeral. Alexis misses you a lot and so does Lexi ; you were more of a mother to Lexi than Amanda. Oh guess what Nadia is pregnant yea she uh she told me before she told Sean. We all really miss you ; well I should get back before Dad comes looking for me; I love you so much Mommy. I'll see you Wednesday.]

Weather man said it's gonna snow

By now I should be used to the cold

Mid-February shouldn't be so scary

It was only December

I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me

But you went away

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I'll be OK

But I'm not going to ever get over you

But you went away

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I'll be OK

But I'm not going to ever get over you

It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone

Cause you went away,

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I'll be OK

But I'm not going to ever get over you

*Dylan's pov*

[two months later it's February 10th my birthday. I open the front door; I just came from Diego's; it's dark in the house. I turn the lights on everyone from the 21st and 51 pop up yell]

"Surprise! Happy birthday Dylan!"

[I look around I see a lot of pictures of me and mom; my eyes land on a picture of me and Mom at my first football game when I was seven. I feel the tears welling up into eyes I start crying I run outside I lock myself in moms car in the garage. I see a picture of me, Dad and Mom at the assembly point when I was eight ; mom was pregnant with the twins then. I haven't played any sports in two months. Sean has been teaching me how to drive. I put the key in the ignition I roll up the windows and start the car.]

*Nadia's pov*

[An hour later we're watching the game Jay comes over he says]

"It's her first birthday without Erin. I knew she was hurting but I never knew she would take it this hard."

"They were so close. She's brokenhearted. Erin was more than her mother she was her best friend the one person who never gave up on Dylan. Erin practically raised me ; She was like a mother to me even when my parents were alive ; I miss her everyday all the time. I'm gonna go check on Dylan ; I'll try to talk to her I mean if she doesn't shut me out like she does with everyone else."[I go outside I see smoke coming from under the garage door. It's stuck I can't get it open I yell]"Jay! Voight! Someone please call an ambulance! Hurry Dylan!"


End file.
